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Nicknames less cool when prosecution uses them
Oh, to be a fly on the wall at the Blackwater nicknaming ritual … Sgt. Blutarsky: From now on, your Blackwater nickname is “Weasel.” From now on, your name is “Mothball.” Kroger, your Blackwater...
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Supremely good news, bad news
OK, so the U.S. Supreme Court has good news and bad news. Which would you like first? We’re sorry. You should speak up louder when addressing your computer, especially if you’re at work. We’ll just...
View ArticleIt’s like it’s another bad joke
There is absolutely nothing about this story that does not make me crack up. Nothing. Courtesy of Groonk.
View ArticleIt’s funny because it’s true
Murder, like many things in life, isn’t necessarily funny in and of itself, but sometimes, the circumstances surrounding the event can be utterly hilarious. This is one of those instances.
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We named the dog a character witness
Riverside County, Calif., prosecutors have charged a 10-year-old boy with “murder involving a gun.” According to authorities, the boy intentionally shot his father, a regional leader of the National...
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Murder most immoral
Rest assured, America: when it comes to murder, Justice Antonin Scalia is opposed to it on moral grounds. Speaking at a Princeton seminar on Monday, U.S. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia argued...
View ArticleWhy even bother with the coin toss?
Quick, think of the three people physically closest to you right now. If you’re alone, just think of three people you happen to know. Good. Now, do you believe that God decides the outcome of sporting...
View ArticleDisney characters are the downfall of the modern criminal
You don’t see this happening to fans of crime and Warner Brothers animation. Well, except for those people that wore the hip-hop Bugs Bunny and Taz shirts back in the nineties. Their downfall was public.
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… Something borrowed, something blue
“I cleaned up the brain matter last time!” “Well, I did it three times in a row before that!” “I WANT YOU MORE THAN EVER!” In an era where most newlyweds aren’t exactly carnal strangers, it’s difficult...
View ArticleAnimals: Clogging up the judicial system
As the weather warms up, the animals are stepping up their offensive on the human race. Their current strategy is taking up our time and resource in our very own legal systems. In Oregon, there’s a...
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Update: Georgia to plagiarize killer professor’s grave
As we reported earlier this week, police found the corpse of George Zinkhan in a grave he dug and covered with brush before shooting himself. While most believe it was suicide after killing his wife...
View ArticleThe McBournie Minute: The party’s not over until several people die
When last we spoke, dear reader, I was unsure if I was going to be alive to write this entry. I am pleased to announce that I am not in fact dead. Actually, I survived the murder mystery party on...
View ArticleOld people kill the darndest things
I must warn you: this is an old story. We’ve seen many a story here on SG involving the death of people, but rarely do we see a story with a discrepancy in age this close to each other. Or, for that...
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